Anonymous
Anonymous is basically, like, everybody. Supposedly in legends of old they spawned from the internet's sweaty vagina over 100 years ago, like every internet meme and sensation. After putzing around for a while with basic hacker nonsense, they realized their calling to be the greatest superheroes from that past few decades or so. They like: *Freedom *Rights *Accountability *Privacy (just not yours) *Justice *Fairness (unless you have been deemed guilty) *Masks *Voice Modulators *Text-to-Speech Synthesis *Twitter *Net Neutrality *Ambiguity *Collectivism *Incorruptibility *Hacktivism *Culture Jamming *Creeping the hell out of us They like to use inflamatory anti-establishment language and creepy digital pirate imagery, not the least of which being the use of Gay Faux-hawks masks because of that one movie that Alan Moore hated (which actually doesn't really help narrow it down because that is like every movie). They say a lot of things like 'we are Legion' 'cut one head and three more will spring in its place' 'we are coming' and 'expect us' and 'Hail H.Y.D.R.A.' These are what are commonly known in our culture as 'cliches.' From 'How to Join Anonymous': "You can not join Anonymous. Nobody can join Anonymous. Anonymous is not an organization. It is not a club, a party or even a movement. There is no charter, no manifest, no membership fees. Anonymous has no leaders, no gurus, no ideologists. In fact, it does not even have a fixed ideology. All we are is people who travel a short distance together - much like commuters who meet in a bus or tram: For a brief period of time we have the same route, share a common goal, purpose or dislike. And on this journey together, we may well change the world. Nobody can speak for Anonymous. Nobody could say: you are in, or you are out. Do you still want to join Anonymous? Well, you are in if you want to." If you have ever been in a situation in your life where nobody knows who you are (i.e. you are neither a celebrity, politician, nor in the bar Cheers), then you have at one point or another been anonymous. Because so very many people are Anonymous, for any group to attack and arrest or kill them all would be tantamount to mass oppression or genocide. The only people who are not Anonymous are people who don't understand or simply fear the internet such as the GOP, the Tea Party, the Vampire Lobby, neo-conservative fanatical religious fundamentalists, Mr. Bad Society Man , Military-Industrial Complex and other old farts, or those who would use it for evil such as the top 1% super-wealthy, Reptilians, Scientologists, pedophiles, actual terrorists, bullies, and Chatroulette. I guess then Anonymous is just the 99% of the population who don't want to get fucked over by these other groups on a regular basis. The connection is explained by this Venn diagram right here. Their first real main enemy was the Church of Scientology, which they eventually finally defeated with the help of the one foretold in prophecy. For a while it was on a back burner but the many-tenacled arms of Anonymous are always flailing for justice in every conceivable direction. They have every known internet or digital power, including haxxors and doxxings and LOLz, and are unstoppable. They have even threatened to make their own internet on several occasions, and not let any of the bad people play on it. They did a bunch of bad stuff and they got looked into by the FBI and the CIA and the NSA but they were all basically fucked because they're really no good at that sort of thing . Maybe some people got caught but seriously it's like a hydra, or like H.Y.D.R.A., or like S.P.E.C.T.R.E., or like Al-Qaeda or some shit I dunno... but more like sweet kickass vigilantes which is why the Revengerists would often aid them in the comics. I remember one issue where they punched out the Koch brothers' lights in tandem, like the cover of that old Captain America comic with Hitler but mirrored, you know? By the end, the teleporting characters had home-invaded and pantsed each and every member of the 1%. They are also both very wordy and long-winded blowhards, so there's that. So if Anonymous disagrees with you, well I guess you are pretty well fucked then aren't you? They can be pretty dogmatic and morally authoritative when it comes to their vigilante battles with what they view as internet crime. This appeals to our basic reptile brains that also allow us to indulge in the Revengerists, Batman, Stardust, and the Punisher. If you have secret shames or dirty dealings, it is undoubtably going to come back to haunt you if you end up on Anonymous' radar. This is likely because they are so many people, like the ones you see riding on the trains all around you, your neighbors, the people who work at the voting place, your Polish delicatessan down the corner... way more than any one policeman could catch! You should be scared of them, because most of the time there is one masturbating in your closet. Because Anonymous is no single one person but every single all persons, their messages are many and twitterpated. Overall, however, one (you) has to be pretty impressed with how consistent and on-topic every single one person has been. This opens up all sorts of questions involving groupthink, online disinhibition, deindividuation, and democratic anarchist collectivity. These questions are all stupid, and you should skip ahead a couple paragraphs. What is interesting is that as soon as an anonymous person is identified, they are no longer Anonymous. Members of Anonymous have to be very careful not to reveal any personal information of their own or ever meet another human being, even in their own hacktivist community or anywhere on the internet. No member of Anonymous has ever even talked to any other member of Anonymous or any other human for that matter. Like the 99%, overall they have been pretty civil, preaching nonviolent resistance. Short of that, however, pretty much anything is fair game. They will open up all the files of your life everywhere with their magical hacker powers and multitudes of variously skilled agents, release private informations, ruin lives with social embarassment and digital espionage, destroy websites, cripple the vested interests of corporations and organizations, steal from the rich and then burn the money. A lot of the stuff they do is illegal, but it's not like Batman or Spider-Man ever get caught and tried, and this is totally way more dudes, so even the ones who get caught are just going to be some dumb teen-agers. Not dat next-level shit, son! While certainly fans of chaos, they aren't exactly agents or advocates for this type of devilry, but merely employ its use as a tool towards their common goal. I imagine they probably sit around laughing maniacally a lot. Not in like an evil way or something. Just at the tortuous madness that is to be found in recognizing our sick reality, and the obvious fracturing of conventional establishment and the status quo by the democratizing forces of the internet and the inevitable self-destruction of fascist corporatist systems. But what do I know? I just write a stupid wiki. It is possible, though highly unlikely, that this is all a psyop by Hugo Weaving. Category:Vigiliantes Category:Organization Category:Goodguys Category:Allies Category:Awesomes Category:Morally Ambiguous Figures